May is here at last! And now we just count down the days as we await the arrival of Holly! They say first babies are generally late, so that gives us two weeks after her due date…any time between now & 23rd May! Can I wait that long? Got no choice. I’ve been trying to remember what it is like to know you are about to give birth, but I can’t. The female brain is a wonderful thing, it manages to erase the pain & discomfort of both pregnancy & birth! That is a good job really, or there would be no second or subsequent children! I’ve been trying to feel how Charlotte must be feeling so I can both share the experience with her & help her…but no matter how hard I try those pre birth feelings will not come back! It is a path she must travel alone, with Stephen’s help.
I envy her that part, having the presence of her partner. I still wish Albert had attended the birth of his daughters; but his choice was not to do so. He doesn’t feel that he’s missed out on anything, but I do. There again having your husband (as partners were called in those days!) at the birth was a new thing in 1974. By the time Charlotte was born in 1979 it was more common, but I didn’t meet one mum who had her husband there…so maybe I should just let it go!
Albert is getting really nervous, everything I do is annoying him! I know I am annoying, but the real reason for his stress is worrying about Charlotte, I don’t think he realises this! His role as father, protector is being tested to the limits! I know he is very fond of Stephen, but it must be hard for him to pass over the well-being of his youngest daughter to another man…these are my thoughts, Albert has said nothing about it, but I know him so well! (Good title for a song?!)